so basically i put some tpn character names into a generator and just generated some rando quotes lol
Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-
Phil: No returns.
Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...
Emma: Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them.
Emma: On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.
Gilda: It’s too early in the morning for this.
*sent at 11:57 AM*
Gilda: *running towards Norman with open arms*
Norman: *moves out of the way*
Gilda: Hey, why'd you move?!
Norman: I thought you were going to attack me.
Gilda: I was going to hug you!
Norman: Why would you hug me?
Gilda: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?
Yugo: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.
Gilda: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth.
Phil: Why?
Gilda, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.
Don: Time sensitive question: how to flirt with a boy.
Gilda: Throw rocks at him.
Yugo: Hot Dogs.
Norman: Kill him.
Don: Thanks guys.
Phil: Stressed.
Gilda: Depressed.
Norman: Possessed.
Emma: Obsessed.
Ray: Impressed.
Don: Chicken breast.
Everyone: ...What?
Don: I just wanted to join in.
Norman: I don’t know, this plan seems complicated.
Phil: You once said that about an orange.
Norman: They don’t make sense. Apples, you eat their clothes but oranges you don’t.
Phil: I know where you live.
Don: Where?
Phil: In a house.
Phil: I’m taking a look at your numbers, and it doesn’t look good. You have a lot of measurements. Quite a few variables.
Norman: Is that… bad?
Phil: Variables are the #1 risk factor for outcomes. The past is a big contributor to the future.
Norman: Isn’t that just causality?
Phil: Causality is the leading cause of death in this country.
Norman: So what are my odds?
Phil: Do you have a family history?
Norman: Of what?
Phil: Just, in general.
Norman: …Yes?
Phil: Oh no.
Yugo: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!
Norman: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Ray: More or less, I guess...
Don: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!
Gilda: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.
Emma: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Emma: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Norman: ...I did. I broke it.
Emma: No. No you didn't. Ray?
Ray: Don't look at me. Look at Don.
Don: What?! I didn't break it.
Ray: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Don: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Ray: Suspicious.
Don: No, it's not!
Gilda: If it matters, probably not, but Yugo was the last one to use it.
Yugo: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Gilda: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Yugo: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Gilda!
Norman: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Emma.
Emma: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Gilda: Emma... Ray's been awfully quiet.
Ray: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Emma, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Emma: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Emma:
Emma: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Emma: Rules are made to be broken.
Norman: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Ray: Uh, piñatas.
Don: Glow sticks.
Gilda: Karate boards.
Phil: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Emma: Rules.
Norman:
*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*
Emma: Thanks fam!
Ray: oh no
Norman: *cries* I love you too
Don: Sounds fake but okay
Gilda: *A flustered mess*
Phil: can i get a refund
Emma: Norman... How do I begin to explain Norman?
Ray: Norman is flawless.
Don: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.
Gilda: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.
Yugo: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.
Emma: We need to distract these guys
Norman: Leave it to me
Norman: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Ray, Don, and Gilda: *Immediately begin arguing*
Phil, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.
Emma: Who the f*** added me to a f***ing group chat?
Norman: >:O language
Ray: Yeah watch your f***ing language
Don: OKAY WHO TAUGHT RAY THE F*** WORD?
Gilda: 'The f*** word'.
Phil: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Ray: Oh my god they censored it
Gilda: Say f***, Phil.
Ray: Do it, Phil. Say f***.
*The squad is over at Emma's house*
Norman: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Emma: ... N-No...
Emma, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Norman, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Ray: I see a-
Emma, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Norman: Oh, well I-
Emma: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Emma, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Don: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Gilda: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Emma: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Emma: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Emma, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Emma: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Phil, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Emma:
Norman: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Emma:
Emma, f***ing ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS
Emma: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Norman: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Yugo: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Don: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Gilda: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Ray: I have emotional scars.